The Awesome Duo's Adventures of Awesomeness
by Related To Italy
Summary: Previously called 'Glimpses Into Our World'. Now it's just about Maria (female Prussia) and Gilbert (male Prussia) and all their crazily violent adventures!


Chapter 1:

"Holy shit yes! Whoo! Awesome! Go Germany!" Maria screamed, watching the German soccer team totally own the French team. Of course, Gilbert chose to walk in at that very moment.

"Vat? Vhat tiz zis 'awesome' you zpeak of? Me? Nein? ZEN IT DOEZ NOT DESERVE ZAT TITLE!" he shouted. Maria looked up at her younger brother, mildly surprised and greatly irritated.

"Hah?" she asked, "I am your ozzer halv, you bastard! I vill call any shit I vant 'awesome'!"

Gilbert then said, "I've always wonsderd how we've managed to shzare zat title . . ."

"Kesesesese . . ." Maria chuckled evilly, a shadow falling briefly across her face. "It'z not a matter of shzaring bruder. You halv yet shtill to meet appropriate levels of awesome!" She smirked, which sent Gilbert over the edge.

"HOW ZARE YOU. DA ONLY TIME I'VE EVEN DARESD TO CONVERZE WITH YOU LIKE ZE NORMAL COUNTRIEZ YOU GO ANZ BLOW ZIT UP IN MY FACE!"

"Che. I never azked you too."

"Unawesome zister! Even Italy iz bet-" Gilbert stopped, sensing that he crossed the line. Maria stood and Gilbert cringed at the anger in her eyes, but the coolness of her features.

"I. Am. Your. Older, a zillion times more awesome counterpart on her period. You really wanna try me, bitch? You are nothing but a wimp who callz himzelf awesome to make up for a lack of a penis. COME AT ME BRO! Try you worst." Her glare you have made a lesser country run crying.

"You . . . evsen . . . dare to . . ." Gilbert was shaking in rage, too rattled to speak. Randomly and violently, he grabbed the edge of the low coffee table and flipped over. Maria only dodged it due to her hard trained reflexes, but it still clipped her toes. "YOU ZIRTY VHORE!" Among the random scatter weapons in the Beilschmidt house, Gilbert grabs a handy javelin with the Prussian flag tied to it and throws it at Maria. With the ease and precise aim of a Japanese trained shinobi and as a Shaolin warrior, Maria's hand flashed out and hit the tip of the javelin, sending it off course and into the wall beside her head. However, she forgot to calculate the flexibility of the spear and felt it hit her shoulder several times from the wobbling impact. Maria grabbed it and yanked it out of the wall. Keeping her eyes locked on Gilbert's she snapped it in half.

"You better vatch vat you say, bruder. I'm just az strong az you are. Perhaps stronger." In two quick strides, Maria grabs Gilbert's collar and judo threw him over her shoulder.

"YOU-!" was all he managed to say before he flew out of the window of the second story. Since people flying out of the window was a relatively common thing in the Beilschmidt house, there were bushes placed all around the property. It was in one of these bushes that Gilbert landed in. "VAT THE HELL." Out of the corner of his eye, he got a glimpse of a long brown coat that just turned the corner. "VAT THE HELL?!" He looked back up to see Maria standing on the railing which kept the planter boxes in. It was in these moments when the five years spent training with the Asian countries showed the most. Her balance was superb, completely worthy of the title 'ninja'. As of now, she stood unwobbling on the inch of metal with her hands on her hips; her smirk, so like his own, made him angry. "VAT. THE. HELL. VOMAN."

She cackled evilly, her hands slightly raised and clawed. "KESESESESESESE! I AM ZE AWESOMEST!" A flash caught her eye and she looked over her shoulder to see a certain Ivan Braginski climbing the fire escape. "AH!" the moment he reached the roof, Maria leapt off and landed, rolling to distribute the weight and ending up in a wicked epic crouched position. She looked at Gilbert frantically and yelled, "He's bisexual! RUUUUUUUNNNN!"

"How vould you know ziese things!?" Gilbert shouted back, but scrambled to his feet as well. But in the short time he was down, Maria made it quicker to the front door and had already locked herself in. She was quickly barricading herself in with random pieces of furniture, but most of it were weapons that lay around the house.

"Let me in! Please! I beg you zister! Just let me in!" Gilbert pounded on the door desperately.

"NEIN! It iz an honor to sacrifice yourself for your zister!" Maria shouted back, frantically going through the pile of weapons around the dining room. "Vhere in de vorld iz it . . . ?" she wondered aloud. Maria dashed to the kitchen. She pulled out drawers and looked in cupboards, but still couldn't find it. A slight scuffle of a shoe behind her and Maria spud around to see . . . him.

"Hello dere, Miss Prussia, do you know where I could find your brother? Could you maybe just hand him over nicely? Da?" Maria remained silent, watching him very closely. She wouldn't dare say her brother was right outside (in a fetal position underneath the porch, trembling with fear, but hey, who isn't scared of stalker Russia?). Ivan's sweet smile fixed in place, but his violet eyes betraying him, stirring a bit of fear deep, deep down in Maria's soul. Her eyes flashed to his infamous pipe, resting loosely in his hands. Maria paused, then straightened, giving a smile as sweet as poisoned honey.

"Oh, I zon't know vhere that little razcle is now. But you know, I'd like to show you somezing . . ." Maria had found IT. She pulled out the largest bazooka Ivan had ever seen. She grinned at the fear in his eyes. "Ja, you zee, Gilbert izn't de only one with five meterz of awesomeness." There was click, and she smiled sweetly again. "Bye-bye, Mr. Roszia." The shell (a blank because Gilbert can be a real troll sometimes) hit Ivan and a HUGE hole was blast through the side of the house. Maria was thrown back into the wall, creating a sizable crater. "Urgh . . ." she moaned. She looked at the rubble and groaned. "Louise is going to kill me . . ." she said, referring to Ludwig's female counterpart. The things barricading the door had blown away and the door fell inside, knocked off its hinges. Gilbert had rolled out from under the porch at the explosion and now looked inside his house in shock.

"VAT THE HELL?!" his voice soared through three octaves. Maria chuckled and rubbed her head sheepishly.

"Sorry, Bruder. But he's a scary SOB." She said.

The pile of rubble shifted at Ivan rose from it, apparently undamaged. His hair covered his face and the dust seemed to fall from his coat.

"Well . . . I see how things have to be then . . ." he says darkly. Gilbert yelps and ran, tripped, and scurried away on his hands and knees. Ivan swings his pipe and Maris ducks back to dodge it, hitting her head on the kitchen counter-top.

"Ah!" The tile had cracked. Ivan's hand snaked out and wrapped itself firmly around her neck, not choking, but enough to make her uncomfortable.

"Well, I guess I only need one Prussia . . ." he said, trailing off in to 'kolkolkol' the entire time. Maria spluttered, gasping. She wrapped her hands around his and spat.

"Like hell you bastard!" She jabbed her nail into the base of his thumb and then kicking his thigh to make him fall. With a final kick to the groin, she broke free, coughing. She rolled out of the way and yanked a ceremonial saber off the wall. "Like I zaid before: COME AT ME BRO!" Ivan staggered up and raises his pipe for an overhead strike.

"Very well. You asked for it, da." Maria blocked and countered with several swipes.

"I vill make you regret meszing with the Beilschmidts!" To Maria's irk, he blocks all of them. He smiled at her again.

"You're cute when you're angry." He said. A vein in Maria's forehead throbbed.

"You little piece of shit! Don't mock me!" Maria abandoned the sword and did a random order of jabs, straights, and hook punches. "Dammit! You ship of blubber! Here it comes! My ultimate punch: Ignite Drive Kai!" Maria wound up for a powerful punch, which drew the natural (and expected) reaction. Ivan's muscles tensed and his eyes shut. "HAAAAAA!" With that, Maria slipped under Ivan's arm and sped towards the hole in the wall. "Heheh! Sucker!" She pulled down her bottom eyelid on one eye and stuck out her tongue.

"You are . . . cute . . ." Ivan said with narrowed eyes, as if he couldn't believe it himself.

"Keh-!"

THE CHASE BEGINS!

*away from the chase*

Gilbert ran as fast as his legs could carry him . . . straight into his brother's other half, Louise. She had just walked out from the handy-dandy weapon supply store when the Prussian nearly ran into her.

"Ah! You!" he paused to pant, "Her!" He motions to the general direction the house is in. "Ze help! ZWEE NEEDZ IT!" Lousie face-palmed, almost not wanting to know what her siblings were up to.

"Bruder Prussia? Vat now? It'z Maria, izn't it?" At Gilbert's nod, she face-palms again. "Vhy do you alvayz come to me for diz?" Gilbert paused, trying to find an excuse.

"Um . . . I couldn't find West?" A store down, Maria flew out of the building, holding a RPG launcher. She shot it at the entrance and dived out of the way as the building came down. Ivan emerged just as the front part crashed down, sending a billow of smoky dust flew up from yet another building. Maria drops the RPG launcher.

"That's not fire smoke, I swear!" she says when she sees them. Ivan pushed through the rubble. "You just don't stop, do you?" Maria gasped/sighed in horror and exasperation. At the sight of the male Russian, Gilbert promptly hid behind Louise as Maria sprints towards them with Ivan following quickly after. Louise glared slightly at them, not ruining her badass image in the least. She stepped aside as the pursuer and the pursued come down the sidewalk, Gilbert still clinging to her. As Russia passed her, she roughly and ninja-ly snatches the pipe out of his hand and throws it over her shoulder. Everyone froze and stared at her wordlessly.

"Stop." She began, "Ruinzing. My. House. Und. Bullying. My. Family!" She glared, her furious aura rising and Russia's kolkolkol's fading. Maria teared up at her zister's words.

"West~ Roszia is picking on me!" Maria glomped her zister and looked up at her with adorable teary eyes while Ivan, looking on, can't decide whether it's cute or annoying.

"Zister?" Gilbert askes, slightly afraid and awed, for he's never seen Maria cry before. What sorcery was this? She looks at him and winks so only he could see.

"You bastard!" Louise yelled, "Making mein zister cry! Die!" From her shopping bags, she pulls two beautiful, fully loaded s&w 357 Magnums. The only reason Louise's shots were off was because they were new guns.

"This isn't the end! Kolkolkolkolkol!" And with that, Ivan's escape consisted of well-placed cartwheels and somersaults whilst Maria, Gilbert and Louise looked on with derp faces.

"Vhat the hell vas that?" Louise asked, a while after Ivan had escaped. Maria and Gilbert shrugged together. They suddenly tensed up, remembering the damage they caused to the house. Louise seemed to remember it also, because her dark aura rose again. "You. Vill. Pay."

That's why Prussian's to this day are poor . . . they're still paying for city damages.


End file.
